Our dear friend, Dharma Teacher Terry Barber transitioned on November 9, 2024. Terry was a beloved colleague and had been the longest-serving member of Parallax Press until she retired as director of Palm Leaves Press (Parallax’s scholarly imprint) in early 2024.
With the anniversary of her passing, and her upcoming birthday on November 26, we honor Terry’s life legacy by sharing some words from our community.
Reading from Deer Park
On November 10, 2024, the monastics honored Terry with readings before the Dharma talk at Deer Park Monastery and during formal lunch at Plum Village Monastery:
Dearest Terry,
We remember as young monastics working with you at the Parallax table, selling Thầy’s books on the early US Tours. We remember your quiet presence, like a gentle stream nourishing the roots of the community. You were so humble and respectful toward Thầy and us. Little did we know how much you had been contributing in the background for more than a decade: spending hundreds of hours transcribing Thầy’s talks into English and turning these transcripts into books that would transform countless lives.
You remained devoted to Thầy and his mission through generations of ups and downs at Parallax Press. Though at times unsure of yourself and the quality of your contributions, you were always more than 100 percent committed to the path of practice and to the community. Each time Thầy came to the US, he sat with you and others at Parallax to discuss the direction of publications in the next two years.
Your personal transformation helped chart a spiritual path for the world decades before the mindfulness revolution of the early 2010s. Thầy always had complete trust in you, and all who encountered your presence and work also trusted you. Thầy’s love and respect for you deepened your own journey, making your work even more of a gift to the world.
Thanks to your vision, the How to book series was launched—you curated and edited those small gift books, which became one of the most effective ways of sharing Plum Village teachings with people curious about mindfulness but too busy to read larger books on the subject. Your ability to craft accessible books invited people to take their first steps on the path.
You enjoyed so much respect from the monastic community; your humility, gentleness, and deep wisdom shone through in everything you said and did. Intensely private, you never wished to be a burden on anyone, even when the illness that would mark the last years of your life made it challenging for you just to breathe. Your spirit lives on in each one of us who has encountered Thầy’s books. Quietly shunning recognition, your deep conviction that everyone deserves a chance to cultivate their best qualities was your engaged way of transforming violence in the collective consciousness.
May you continue to manifest in each of us, so we may learn from your quiet bodhisattva way of nurturing and healing through skillful words and kind deeds. Your presence continues in us, inspiring us to embody and share the Dharma. You passed away peacefully, and we know the Sangha was there with you in your thoughts, your speech, and your actions. Your legacy continues in each book and in the hearts of all of us who carry on Thầy’s work.
Thank you, dear elder Dharma sister, for your courage, compassion, and deep transformative insight.
With love,
The Monastic Community of Deer Park
November 10, 2024
Words from our community cherishing Terry
Terry practiced. As a seeker, Terry was restless to understand and realize more. She had tremendous honesty and humility.
Her generosity was instinctual. We all witnessed this. Her humility and self-effacing nature were deeply sincere, sometimes almost disarmingly so. She had experienced struggles in her life; perhaps these are what provided such a clear highway to her conscience, which she was always in touch with.
A keen observer, she could listen with empathy and warmth. This was a catalyst for a quality she demonstrated that none of us should take for granted—the capacity to see dimension in others. She always sought greater clarity, even when it was troubling, and she unfailingly responded to the insights that arose.
The intensity of Terry’s honesty drove a perfectionism: she had high standards, in her life and in her work. The Parallax books she worked on so conscientiously demanded her to seek the greatest clarity in herself; she hoped to give readers the greatest possible chance to go deeper into the teachings. A profound integrity was demonstrated in her advocacy for the sensitivity needed to allow Thầy’s voice to be fully heard in all the works of his that we published. Her work on these books had their own inner timeline and honored the rhythm necessary to do them well. Unfortunately that meant she often overworked herself, driven by an acute sense of responsibility.
Terry’s beautiful, quiet sense of humor revealed to us how life’s experiences could be observed so well and how they shape us.
Few know that Terry composed the music for the chant we sing to the great being Avalokiteshvara. I was so moved recently to learn this, but not totally surprised. She was a musician at heart. Another nuanced meaning of Avalokiteshvara is “the One who is heard.” I feel Terry was both seeking and listening, aspiring to be in touch with the energy of that voice.
Terry paused to reflect, often remaining silent when others around here were ready to speak. With that pause, we saw depth. It would be an oversimplification to say she wasn’t interested in quick response or conversation itself, but her nature seemed to prefer to wait for an internal prompt rather than a social one. For this, she could sometimes be underestimated in our world of fast-paced dialogue.
To me, Terry embodied the practice of discernment. She was someone who innately realized its value. I have met few like her. If we can continue to resonate with and remind ourselves of the qualities she shared with us, we can hope to bring them into being for others.
—Leslie Schneider, accounting manager/HR liaison at Parallax Press
Our books and the tone of many teachings have Terry quietly embedded in them. Her long, thoughtful service subtly infused much of our cultural presence with honesty and devotional energy. Those qualities are there in the pages because Terry helped to put them there.
Terry—like the innumerable tiny flecks of mica held in the big walls of granite.
—Katie Eberle, creative director at Parallax Press
I had just a brief amount of time with Terry, but I experienced a sense of humility that hid an immense amount of experience and understanding. I was so appreciative of the opportunity to interact with her and to wait for those glimpses of wisdom to gently appear. How much of it there would be in a very brief moment was a breathtaking.
—John Matsuoka, business and operations director at Parallax Press
Terry was the heart and soul of Parallax: a humble, kind, generous, and determined transmitter of Thầy’s teachings all these years, not only through her work but her whole being.
Terry was one of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met. Before she met Thầy and went to Plum Village she spent a decade as a high country ranger in Yosemite National Park. She inspired me to be a better person, a better editor, and a better practitioner, and was unfailingly kind and supportive toward me, even though she was very hard on herself. Always self-effacing, she never took credit for all her accomplishments and gave of herself so generously, offering a safe space to others no matter what. Once I remember we were running late for a train to Paris from Bordeaux, and we had to drop off our rental car first, which would definitely make us miss it. Terry insisted that she drop me off at the station so I could make the train on time, while she took care of the car. She thought of others first in everything she did.
I feel that she’s in all of us who worked with her and in the kindness, generosity, and patience that we can manifest here at Parallax to the best of our capacity. I hope we can be a continuation of her energy. Most of us in the current generation at Parallax have not spent any time with Thầy in person, but we are lucky to have had the chance to meet people like Terry, who spent nine years steeped in the atmosphere of mindfulness and compassion he generated at Plum Village in the early days. We can receive a kind of transmission through this unconditional loving kindness she offered. Hopefully it’s catching and can touch the lives of many people.
—Hisae Matsuda, publisher at Parallax Press
It brought me to tears when I heard Terry had died, thinking of all she has offered to Thầy and the Sangha. What a good, kind, gentle soul.
May her spirit always look over and guide our work.
—Brother Phap Luu, senior monastic at Deer Park Monastery, Escondido, California; Parallax Press author; and editor of The Mindfulness Bell
Terry’s kindness has resounded through all these sharings. She is held and embraced in the energy of love and peace of the international Sangha, of all those who knew her. The Sangha in Magnolia Grove Monastery sent prayers to Terry.
May she continue beautifully.
May all of you who know Terry be filled with the love, beauty, and goodness that we all experienced in being with her.
—Sister Tuệ Nghiêm, senior monastic at New Hamlet, Plum Village, France
Terry was indeed an exceptional being—a true bodhisattva, humbly and selflessly working to bring Thầy’s teachings to the world.
Every word that you have all shared about her resonates, especially about how she would listen and discern if she needed to add anything to the conversation or not. In so many Zoom meetings, Terry would hide off camera, only to come up with the most pragmatic and true-to-the-spirit-of-Thầy’s-teachings suggestions after we had all finished. She really knew how to bring things back to the most essential.
I hope Terry knows how much she means to all of us, how loved and valued she is.
Terry will always have a special place in my heart, where I hold her warmly and tenderly.
—Sister Trì Nghiêm, senior monastic at Magnolia Grove Monastery, Batesville, Mississippi
Terry’s boundless generosity of heart, her very real desire to lift others up, continue as main ingredients in our work at Parallax. As our very own Sadaparibhuta, Terry watered seeds of confidence and capability in each of us. I feel her support deeply.
Learning about Terry’s life in bits and pieces over the past few weeks, I am inspired by the brave, deliberate, experimental path she took. Terry lived deeply into what she cared about, and her astounding level of humility makes that life all the more impressive.
Terry’s an incredible person and I appreciate having known her with all my heart.
—Matt Friberg, senior editor at Parallax Press
It’s crazy to me that we never met in person. Our calls together always meant so much to me. She was such a kind, just, genuine person, and our conversations, from the beginning, always felt like we had a connection between friends. She was just so incredibly humble. She never fully acknowledged how much she truly knew or how much she impacted others. She had this real quiet wisdom and generosity in everything she did, but she never sought recognition for it.
After each call with Terry I walked away so much lighter and more at ease, and I can’t help but think about how she’d always end the call by apologizing for taking my time. I would always share how these calls made me feel better than before. It’s so rare to find someone who can make you feel that way just by sharing a little bit of time and space.
And I was just so impressed by her work ethic. It was incredible. She could remember so many things, especially about the past, about Parallax, and it seemed effortless. I always knew I could turn to her and I knew how much she poured everything into what she did. She’d just shy away so much from the praise, and I know even now she’d be so uncomfortable with all the love and recognition she’s receiving. But I also know she deserves every bit of it.
I’m really grateful that we’re all honoring her, and I feel really lucky to have known her. She was a real bright spot in my day when I did get to speak with her, and such a joy of getting to work with, and I know the kindness she gave will always stay with me.
—Liz McKellar, director of sales, marketing, and new media at Parallax Press
Liz’s sharing touched on something I’ve been feeling a lot: I hope this love and appreciation so many are expressing now sunk in for Terry. The two of us often spoke about her difficulty really feeling that love and appreciation, about her not being able to take in how much she was giving and how valued she was. What an amazing, kind, wise, generous person you are, Terry—so many people see and appreciate that. Whatever form she’s in or not in now, I hope somehow she’s able to let that be in her heart. It’s something that I, as Terry’s continuation, am inspired to practice with watering in my own life.
—Miranda Perrone, editor at Parallax Press
Terry’s physical presence at Parallax was strong, grounded, and supportive. Although she was always humble in her sharing, her wealth of knowledge and wisdom seemed endless. I’m grateful for the opportunity to get to know Terry over her last two years at Parallax. She brought to our meetings a sense of curiosity and lightness that I believe is only possible when one does not shy away from the heaviness of life. Terry took interest in every person she worked with and inspired us to weave our mindfulness practice into our work. She lives on in our books, our smiles, and our ability to remain tender. May she be liberated from suffering now that her body has returned to our Earth she loved so dearly.
—Jess Brown, community relations manager at Parallax Press
I knew Terry from my early days at Plum Village. We both lived in Lower Hamlet in 1997 when it was a lay hamlet, before the nuns came back to live there, and we were friends. I also got to know her a little more when I stayed at Green Mountain Dharma Center in fall 1998. Whenever I fill a hot water bottle, I think of her because at GMDC she taught me how to bend the hot water bottle at an angle when pouring in hot water, so no air pockets would form and bubble up and burn you.
She continued to be a supportive and kind presence in my life when I ordained the following year. Whenever we were in the same monastery or on a trip together, we would reconnect and catch up on our lives.
When I was in transition, still in robes, but no longer living in the monastery, we spent some time together in Berkeley and she took me out for Ethiopian food, one of my very favorite kinds of food. It felt reassuring at that moment to be with someone who had seen me go through so many different phases of my life.
I appreciate so much her whole hearted contribution to Parallax Press after she transitioned from living with the monastic community and moved back to Berkeley. She made such good and detailed edits on the manuscripts I worked on.
She was a dedicated practitioner and student of Thầy. She gave her whole life to the community in its many forms. I am deeply grateful for her life and her time at Parallax Press.
—Kaira Jewel, Dharma teacher and Parallax Press author
A Poem for Terry Barber
Please go peacefully into the dark night
Full of stars and their light
Holding you gently now.
True Bodhisattva with a heart
as generous as the ocean
And humble as a little spring flower.
Dear great friend,
Always riding the chariot of goodness,
The sangha boat has arrived
And holding hands we chant your
“Namo’valo’” bringing love and peace
To the world
You will be sailing into
The mysterious freedom
We have not tasted yet,
And we bow to you,
Remembering with gratitude
your love
And powerful wisdom.
This poem was being written the evening of 9th November, 2024, here in Plum Village without knowing that Terry would be transitioning soon in California. Hearing that she was admitted to the hospital in the intensive care unit, I wanted to write a poem for her. I remember the early days of Plum Village when Terry lived and practiced with us in Lower Hamlet. These were precious and happy times for all of us. Terry had a lot of talent in music and a lovely voice, as well as a deep understanding of the Buddha’s and Thay’s teachings. We did not keep in touch over the years, yet she is alive for me now as I remember her.
—Sister Chân Từ Nghiêm (Sister Eleni), senior monastic at New Hamlet, Plum Village, France
Front row: Sister Hoan Nghiem, Sister Hiến Nghiêm, Brother Pháp Dung, Sister Chan Duc, Sister Lăng Nghiêm, Sister Trai Nghiêm, Terri Saul, and Brother Phap Linh